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Five Euro Pizza

by Dark Bottle

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      €7 EUR  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Digipak edition with Pizza Design. Two bonus tracks included. Strictly limited to 100pcs, get yours while they last!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Five Euro Pizza via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 4 days

      €15 EUR or more 

     

  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    Very tasty banjo-in-a-bottle-design. Black cotton.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Five Euro Pizza via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      €15 EUR or more 

     

  • Keep your beer (or any drink of your choice) cold and your hands warm with this amazing contraption. Probably made of neoprene or something else, works like a charm. Has been tested in Finnish sauna. Handsome black color with yellow print.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Five Euro Pizza via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 4 days

      €5 EUR

     

  • Limited edition picture vinyl (SOLD OUT)
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    SOLD OUT!

    Extra hot picture vinyl with lyric sheet. Topping on one side, crust on the other!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Five Euro Pizza via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
Tero came from Hyvinkää, he was a fine young man His helped his mother baking, and did it with command His pizzas were the favorite at the parties of his friends He never could have dreamed that he’d come to a sad end All for a 5 Euro pizza When he finished schooling young Tero knew his way He’d make his living selling the best pizzas every day He opened his own grilli behind the city walls Then it came to pass that the cause of his downfall Was a 5 Euro pizza Oh the police said it can’t be made for less than 6 Even if you buy it from a Dr. Oetker mix They called it tax evasion and they shut the baking room A 5 Euro pizza was his doom Ahmez and Amira, from Kurdistan they came Their families killed, and European weapons were to blame To Pohjanmaa they came and they tried to start anew They worked hard and decided that the only thing to do Was sell 5 Euro pizzas They worked around the clock and they needed no state aid 5 Euros was a fair price and their taxes were all paid But Koti pizza didn’t like it, said “police please come on ‘round We don’t like competition and we want them all shut down All those 5 Euro pizzas” Oh the police said it can’t be made for less than 6 Even if you buy it from a Dr. Oetker mix They called it tax evasion and they shut the baking room A 5 Euro pizza was their doom
2.
Well I saw Timo Soini, he was walkin’ down the road Well I saw Timo Soini, he was walkin’ down the road And I said hey hey Timo, you know you look just like a toad I’ve been readin’ the newspapers and I don’t like the things you say German, English, Finnish, don’t matter, I don’t like the things you say And it you don’t stop talking shit I’m gonna throw you in that bale of hay Well I love living here, like jumping through holes in the ice to swim But I won’t drink ‘til I fall over Saturday nights just so I can fit in And it you don’t like that Timo, drink yourself a 62-year-old can of gin I don’t like no maksaalaatikko, don’t eat no Saarioinen gloop I don’t like no maksaalaatikko, don’t eat no Saarioinen gloop But I really do like mämmi, even if it looks like a pile of runny poop I’m a Perusulkomaalainen, and I’m gonna kick your ass I’m a Perusulkomaalainen Olli, and I’m gonna kick your ass Unless of course you chill out and we can go behind the barn and smoke a little grass I’m a Perusulkomaalainen, Perusulkomaalainen Perus ulkomaalainen, perus ulkomaalainen Sorry Timo, times have changed and that’s the way things gonna be.
3.
Everything is making me nervous Even my old bong don’t help at all Don’t know if it’s the full moon or the pizza But soon I’m going to start climbing the walls That street light there is looking at me funny And L. Ron Hubbard’s listening to my phone The water heater’s singing songs from Heino And the stereo’s playing Radio Interzone I’m standing in the doorway, trying to get some air But I didn’t pay the air bill; I did it on a dare If the state could help me, I might give them a call But Halla-Aho makes my skin crawl Jabberwock is staring in my window There’s snakes and beetles crawling down my wall And Gore Vidal is hanging from the ceiling And he’s talking in a low-down Southern drawl Saying “Boy git your ass up and get movin’ Stop hanging around there just like you was dead” So I jump up and run out into the hallway And I try to clear the cobwebs from my head I’m standing in the doorway…
4.
Nothing ever happens on the highway Nothing ever happens to me Nothing ever happens on the highway Or so it seems to me I roll this 18-wheeler Up and down the Denmark trail Nothing ever happens on the highway And I wish I’d gone by rail I think one time I might have stopped in old San Antone But truth be told, it was only just to charge my mobile phone The cable, it was long enough to reach right to the plug But I’d brought the wrong adaptor And I did feel such a mug Nothing ever happens…… I swear, one night I thought I saw a ninja by the road Dressed in black, and with a sword and hat, I nearly lost my load I hit the brakes and honked my horn, and turned around to see A cow at gate, not a Kung Fu great Staring back at me Nothing ever happens….
5.
My mama drowned in the deep blue pool at Lourdes She didn’t have time to fill her gourd The Virgin Mary’s plastic crown Went tumbling, tumbling tumbling down She went down where the candle flickers A poor old cripple, he glanced her knickers And his heart skipped a crucial beat His falling crutch swept Ma right off her feet My mama drowned….. The plastic Mary Holy Water container (I mean, how could anyone really blame her?) Spun from her hands and fell into the pool I wonder, could Mary ever feel such a fool? My mama drowned…. Ma jumped in, the Virgin for to save Her life for the Lady she willingly gave They pulled her lifeless body up from that grotto So listen up good to my old Mama’s motto My mama drowned…..
6.
Born and raised on our cotton farm Snowballs blazing in the dusty midday sun After my homework and field chores were done A green-eyed girl would wait beside the barn We swore to each other that we’d never be alone And we would build us a home The farm went to Ali so we moved to Homs Got a job on the rigs pumping crude from the ground It was hot, it stank and I hated the sound But the pay was good for my wife and our sons We thought there would be no more reason to roam We had found us a home Bombs poured down in a rain of death The smell of corpses filled the air Aisha died in my arms, killed by a drone And that was the end of our home Half Ali’s farm was the smuggler’s fee 100 people on a 50 man raft A winter storm tossed us and I tried to grab my two sons but a wave carried them to the sea I buried my head and started to moan And couldn’t think of a home We came to Finland, it was barren and cold And the place we should have stayed had been burned to the ground Soldiers of Odin accused us in town Of raping their women and stealing their gold But we only want peace after living in dread I mourn for my Aisha, no one else in my head I only want a home All I ever wanted was a home
7.
Pretty Polly 08:13
Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, please come along with me Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, please come along with me Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, please come along with me Before we get married, some pleasure to see He led her over hills and through valleys so steep He led her over hills and through valleys so steep He led her over hills and through valleys so steep ‘Til at last pretty Polly began to weep She threw her arms around him, she was so full of fear She threw her arms around him, she was so full of fear She threw her arms around him, she was so full of fear “I’m afraid you will harm the one who loves you so dear” Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, you’ve guessed about right Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, you’ve guessed about right Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, you’ve guessed about right For I dug on your grave the best part of last night He stabbed her through the heart and the blood it did flow He stabbed her through the heart and the blood it did flow He stabbed her through the heart and the blood it did flow And into the grave pretty Polly did go He threw some dirt over her and turned to go home He threw some dirt over her and turned to go home He threw some dirt over her and turned to go home Leaving no one there but the birds for to mourn Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, please come along with me Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, please come along with me Pretty Polly, pretty Polly, please come along with me Before we get married, some pleasure to see

about

All songs written by Donald Lupo and arranged by Dark Bottle except 4: lyrics John Doyle, music Donald Lupo, arrangement Dark Bottle and 7: traditional, arranged by Dark Bottle
Recorded, mixed and mastered by Tom Brooke at Tonehaven Studios, February and July 2016

credits

released November 11, 2016

Teemu Kiiskilä: guitar, backing vocals, effect chaos
Tero Mäenpää: double bass, backing vocals, theremin
L. Don Ohkami: banjo, reso-guitar, lead vocals
Janne Similä: drums, percussion

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tags

about

Dark Bottle Tampere, Finland

Dark Bottle is doombilly, psych-country, alt-punk and krautstoner at the same time.

Donald Lupo - banjo, resoguitar, vocals

Teemu Kiiskilä - guitar, mandolin, harmonica, vocals

Lauri Leinonen - bass, vocals

Janne Similä - drums, percussion
... more

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